How Do YOU Spend Your Life?

Years and years ago, I remember reading the poem 'The Dash' (words are below). Even though I wasn't yet in my 'prime', it had quite a profound affect on me. In the 90's it was passed around via email a lot and probably didn't always make the same impact in all the inboxes it landed in. It was likely one of those bits of prose that seemed the 'quote du jour' at the time. And even though I admired it back then, I always had a sense that it would grow in it's meaningfulness in my life.

So, I tucked it away.

And rediscovered it this weekend. (As I seem to be doing with a plethora of 'old wisdom' that I've tucked away and haven't paid much attention to in the past several years. But a 'tap' has been turned on somewhere in my soul, a switch flicked - and I am finding myself famished for the soul-filling focus that I once thrived on in my life.)

These many years later, the wisdom of this simple poem penetrates me even moreso, and in very different ways. Now that I am a mother, ever aware of how my child observes the way in which I choose to live my life on a daily basis, I am, at times, uncomfortably conscious of how my life is 'watched' by little eyes. Even though I told myself I would NOT fall into the trap of getting too consumed by the 'busyness' of being a parent --- here I am, taking a long, hard, philosophical look at how I (possibly) waste a lot of precious time. Because parenthood (temporarily? hmmm, I wonder...) has taken the best of who I am and what I've had to give. And this once highly energetic person (me!) has had to admit to being exhausted - much of the time. Not just because I am parenting a young child while in my 5th decade of life (though I've no doubt that contributes to things), but also because I am parenting a child who brought with her a very unique blueprint of her very special, compassionate, traumatic, early-life history. And that's just the way it is. And that's the gift that I am blessed to parent.

Admittedly, though, the way I 'envisioned' parenting actually unfolding (from those 'safe' distances 'before' actually becoming a parent), now often feels like I am trying to put together two jigsaw pieces that come from completely different parts of the puzzle. Getting the 'fit' right is something you can't fake. You shave a bit of an edge here, and a bit there, but ultimately unless the 'fit' is right, the puzzle just doesn't come together the way it's mean to do.

Like many parents I know, I've been trying to just 'do' too much - and I haven't always (not really) allowed myself to just 'be', to just 'live', to just 'enjoy' breathing in those precious moments with my family. As I grow more seasoned in my life, my perspective shifts. Sometimes new awarenesses pop out of nowhere. Sometimes familiar 'knowings' just surface with deeper meaning. At the moment, I am being barraged by old familiar wisdom - haunting me, almost - so maybe this is the right time to massage my vision of life and start incorporating more of what I always believed would make me a brilliant mother. wife. friend. mentor. healer.

Life is truly a journey. A series of chapters. Some are showered with opportunity. Some are peppered with challenge. Others are seasoned just right. And there are some chapters that seem to stand still in time. I am ready for my life journey to kick off again - for the adventure. For the growth. For the wisdom to ooze again.

So, with the start of a new year being so typically reflective and inspiring, this poem has come to mind again and I wanted to share it here. A familiar poem ... with age-old wisdom. Nothing new. And yet ... everything new. Here it is ... E xxx

The Dash Poem

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

© 1996 Linda Ellis